FLAME (Spark Series) Page 11

  I’m practically in tears as he explains the day he received his scholarship award letter. Boston University offered him a full scholarship to play on the football team as long as he maintained a 2.5 GPA. I can tell he’s about to break down when he says he hasn’t seen his mum since he left three and a half years ago. His mom can’t afford to fly him home or fly herself here, and since he has football practice at the end of summer, he stays on campus and works a part-time job.

  All the things I never bothered to ask a guy…all the personal details I never wanted to know…all the fucking intimate parts of a man I never stick around to see—all in my face at the same time in one single night. I never imagined knowing this part of Drew before. I never even thought about this when I decided to come here tonight.

  What the hell was I thinking?

  Drew is a good person. He’s a son. And a brother. He’s a loyal player and an amazing student. How the hell do I even deserve a person like that? Or rather, how the hell do I even deserve a second chance?

  But I don’t care. I probably don’t deserve him. He’s the full package plus a fucking thousand percent more. I’m an idiot if I push him away again.

  Once the game’s over, and the crowd cheers in victory over their big win, I wait until the crowd is cleared out. I don’t know what I expect, or if he’s even going to be interested anymore, but I have to know.

  For the first time ever, I put myself out there.

  12

  I stand against my car, waiting for the team to come barreling out. One by one I watch as football players walk out, dressed and carrying huge bags over their shoulders. The longer I wait, the more my nerves become apparent. My stomach is so damn tight, I’m not sure I can go through with this.

  But then I see him. I see his beautiful face and bright blue eyes. I see his perfectly wet, messy hair. He’s back in jeans and a snug black V-neck t-shirt. I see him smile and I get all my confidence back.

  Yes, I can do this. I’m ready.

  I push off my car and wait for him to make eye contact with me. He finally recognizes me, and I can’t help the huge smile on my face when I see his expression.

  “Didn’t expect to see you here,” he says casually as he walks toward me.

  “I know.” I smirk. “I missed you,” I confess. I’ve never told a guy I missed him. Hell, I’ve never missed a guy before…ever.

  “Really? I find that hard to believe.” He crosses his arms, taking me all in.

  “I don’t blame you. This is all new to me. But it’s true. I’ve missed you,” I say softly. I keep eye contact with him, hoping he realizes I’m being sincere.

  I expect him to brush me off, to tell me it’s too late or that he’s found someone else. But he doesn’t. He pins me against the car, taking my face in his hands. He brings our lips together, kissing me intensely as our bodies press together.

  I barely get a breath in as he captures me, invading me all at once. His body hovers over mine, molding me to him.

  He breaks the kiss, panting as he stares into my eyes. I watch as he bites his lower lip before saying, “I missed you, too.”

  I smile wide as I see his overly happy expression. My heart races as I realize I’ve just admitted something I’ve never done before. I’m going to do this. I’m giving it my all.

  * * *

  We kiss our way into my bedroom, smacking into things and knocking pictures off the wall as we find our way in the dark. Velaney isn’t home, so I don’t plan to keep it down tonight. At all.

  “I really enjoyed your speech,” I mumble as he kisses my neck. “I hope to meet your mom someday.”

  He stops abruptly and looks at me. “This would be a lot sexier if you didn’t mention my mum.”

  “Oh, right. Sorry.” I wave myself off and crash my lips to his.

  Ugh…trying too hard, Carissa. No mom talk during sex.

  I really want this to work. I want to know all about him. I want to know about this childhood, his siblings, where he grew up, what his favorite movies are…I actually care enough to want to know.

  But not now.

  Definitely not now.

  We finally make it to the bed without breaking a toe or twisting an ankle. I frantically rip my shirt off and unbutton my jeans. I had whipped my shoes off somewhere between the kitchen and hallway, so I shimmy my jeans down to my ankles.

  I kick my jeans off and stand in just my bra and panties as I forcefully pull his shirt up. Next, I aim for his jeans and unbutton them slowly and seductively.

  “I really like these jeans,” I say. “They might be my favorite pair ever.”

  “Is that so? I’m so glad to hear that, because I own about three pairs of these.”

  I laugh as I release his cock with my hand. “I love a man who goes commando.”

  I release him long enough to pull his jeans all the way down. He steps out of them, and before I can make my next move, he’s on his knees in front of me.

  “Well, Hello Kitty.” He smirks at the Hello Kitty panties I’m wearing. I laugh as he pulls them down aggressively and forces me to the edge of the bed. I lay sprawled out with my legs off the side.

  Before I can get another word out, his mouth is on me, feathering kisses up my thigh. I moan as his kisses become aggressive and eager, as he finds his way to my pussy. Shit, I’ve missed his mouth so fucking much. I’ve missed him touching me. Controlling me. Taking me.

  And I don’t want it to end.

  * * *

  I wake up to heavy arms and legs wrapped around me. I smile as I inhale Drew’s scent mixed with the lingering scent of sex in the air.

  I can’t help this giddy feeling of knowing Drew is in my bed again. He’s mine. And I get to have him anytime I want.

  I begin kissing up his chest, lightly climbing over him. I kiss his neck and bring my hand down to his cock, making it hard and throbbing against my palm. I bring my mouth over his ear, sucking and biting lightly.

  His arms wrap around me, holding me tight against him. “Fucking hell, I could get use to waking up to this,” he moans as I stroke him harder.

  “Good. Because I plan to wake you up like this as much as possible,” I mumble in between kisses.

  “I-I totally can’t argue with that right now.” He laughs.

  He arches his back as I stroke him harder. I bring my mouth to his, unaffected by the fact that I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.

  The old me—yes, the two weeks ago me—wouldn’t kiss a guy the next day with morning breath, but this girl no longer cares. I can’t get enough of him no matter how many times I screamed his name last night.

  “You really give me a run for my money. I’ve never met a girl so…”

  “You can either shut up and have your way with me, or you can complain about the fact that I love sex and want it 24/7. Which is it going to be?”

  His head snaps up as he sees my serious face. “Yeah, I’ll shut up.”

  “Good answer.” I smile and kiss him again.

  “So which toy am I allowed to use?” he asks, breaking the kiss. He flips me over, pinning me to the bed. “Because I can think of a lot of ways to shut you up.”

  “Yes…that’s exactly what I like to hear.” I smirk. “Your pick.” I nod over to my dresser where I have everything. He grabs my wrists and holds them over my head. I leave them there as he goes searching through my drawer.

  “Well…these look interesting.” He holds up wrist ties and a blindfold. “However…this looks like much more fun.” He holds up my handheld LELO vibrator.

  “Those are all fun.” I wink, letting him know I’m game. “That’s Lily,” I inform him, nodding to the vibrator.

  “Well…I think Lily wants to play.”

  He grabs all the items and straddles me. I keep my arms up as he puts the wrist ties tightly around me. “Need to make sure you’re not going anywhere,” he explains as I wince. I lift my head up slightly, giving him just enough room to put the blindfold over my eyes.

  I try to act
confident in his game. I’m typically the one tying and blindfolding, so this is a first for me. But I trust him. And I want this more than anything right now.

  I hear him turn the vibrator on. He slowly runs it down my body, in between my breasts and down past my belly button. He caresses my thighs, avoiding my pussy in playful torture. I wiggle against the ties, hoping he’ll get the hint.

  “You are always so eager,” he teases.

  Before I can retaliate, he finally brushes the vibrator over my pussy exactly how I want.

  “Yes…right there,” I moan, pushing my hips forcefully against his mouth.

  I scream through multiple orgasms as his mouth never gives up. He devours me like a Thanksgiving pie—delicious, fulfilling pie.

  “You like that, Doll, yes?”

  “Yes…god, yes!” His mouth gets more aggressive as he inserts two fingers inside me, increasing the rhythm.

  Not being able to touch or see him is killing me. However, it allows me to use my other senses—feel and touch—to enjoy him even more. I feel his light stubble against my thighs, riveting shivers up my body.

  “Drew…I want…” I beg. “I need you inside right now.”

  I feel the bed lift, smiling in victory that he’s finally giving in. Or so I thought.

  The bed dips again, and I’m greeted with a gag in my mouth. What the hell is he doing?

  “Shhh…stop moving, or I’ll handcuff you to the bed for real,” he threatens.

  That bastard.

  I want to rake my hands through his hair and kiss the soft spot just under his ear. I want to scream his name out while I demand that he give me what I want.

  I wiggle my body under him in protest. He laughs and it drives me insane.

  “Fucking hell, Doll. You’re going to kill me if you keep moving like that,” he growls. I want to scream and tell him to fuck me, but nothing comes out of my mouth but whimpers.

  He nips my mouth, and I hear amusement in his voice as he continues, “That’s a good girl.”

  He playfully tortures me, and I willingly take it. I drown in his touch—the way his hands rub over my smooth skin, the way his lips just barely kiss down my stomach—it consumes me, making me forget everything that made me want to run away in the first place.

  He finally enters me, fulfilling me in every way. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him in tight. It feels like I can’t get him close enough as I scream against the gag in release.

  * * *

  I finally get up and get dressed. I decide to make some coffee while Drew takes a shower. I hear keys rattling in the door and immediately get ready to attack Laney for being gone all day without a text or call.

  “Where have you been?” I scold as soon as she steps one foot in the doorway.

  “If I tell you, do you promise not to yell at me?” She cringes, yanking her keys out of the lock.

  I pretend to think about it. “No, but go on.”

  She shuts the door and sets her purse on the countertop in the kitchen. “I went to my parents’ house,” she says blankly.

  I drop the coffee mug in my hand. I don’t watch as it shatters into a million pieces all over the kitchen floor, but I hear it.

  “A little dramatic, don’t you think?” she snorts, watching my frozen expression.

  She clears her throat, keeping her eyes on me. “I’m sorry, did you say you went to your parents’ house? As in, back home? As in, you hate them, but you went back to your parents’ house?” I ramble, repeating myself over and over.

  “Okay, stop. Yes. My parents’ house. The devil’s lair.”

  If you thought my parents were bad, Velaney’s family made mine look like saints. We left years ago, swearing to never go back, so I’m more than shocked to hear she went there.

  I ramble off question after question, needing to wrap my head around everything. But it still doesn’t make sense to me.

  “Carissa, stop! I’m fine. I went there to confront my mother.” She pauses briefly, slowly inhaling.

  “All right, what the fuck happened?” I demand.

  “Carissa, really…I—” She stops as tears gush out of her eyes.

  “Oh my god,” I squeal. I rush over to her and wrap my arms around her. I let her cry it out for a few minutes in my arms.

  “I’m sorry I cried all over your favorite shirt,” she mumbles.

  “Fuck my shirt, Lane. Now tell me what happened.” I demand again. “What did you confront her about that you haven’t already?”

  “What’s all this shouting for?” Drew’s thick accent interrupts us. We both turn and watch as Drew walks toward us wearing just a pair of tan cargo shorts with his shirt in his hand.

  “Oh god, I didn’t realize you had company,” she mutters, blushing.

  “He was just leaving,” I whisper back sternly. I walk over to his side, wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. His hands graze my hips as he continues lowering them down to squeeze my ass. I giggle as Laney is nearby watching us.

  “Bye, Doll,” he whispers. He kisses me firmly once more before heading out the door. I watch as he leaves, holding my stance even after he’s gone.

  I turn around with a dumb smile on my face. Laney smirks at me and raises her eyebrows in curiosity.

  “Shut up, it’s not what you think,” I bark at her, pointing a finger in her face.

  She holds up both hands and laughs. “I didn’t say a word.”

  “Whatever. Back to you, now. Tell me everything.” I grab her hand and lead her to the sofa where she explains all the horrific details.

  We end up drowning ourselves in a bottle of wine as I grasp everything she’s told me. Laney is the strongest person I know. Although she’s quirky and was a prude up until a few months ago, she’s really the only person who truly gets me.

  13

  -Three Months Later-

  Breathe.

  I can do this. It’s just walking down an aisle. No biggie.

  Except it’s a huge freaking deal. My best friend is getting married today. How the hell did that happen?

  Well…let’s rewind a few months back.

  Velaney and Eric become a couple.

  Velaney overcomes her biggest fears—her family—and somehow comes out even better than before.

  Velaney and Eric find out she’s pregnant again.

  Velaney and Eric get engaged.

  And now…she’s moved to Texas to live with him.

  Yup…that pretty much sums it all up. She’s been my other half, my soul mate, my BFF if you will—for 23 years. How am I supposed to just let her go? How am I going to give her away?

  She asked me to walk her down the aisle. Of course I will. I’ll do anything or be anything for her. But I can’t help but feel that too much is changing. And I’m not sure how to handle it.

  “Ready?” I whisper as the music begins.

  “So ready!” She smiles back.

  The wedding is gorgeous, a true southern fantasy. Eric’s family is amazing. I’m so happy that she’s finally getting the fairytale ending she deserves. It makes me think about where I am in my life. Almost 24, and what do I have to show for it?

  I have Drew, yes. And right now, he’s the only thing stable in my life, besides working at the bar. I live in a two bedroom apartment alone for the first time ever. It gives me a lot of time to…think. To analyze. To obsess over where my life is heading.

  Hearing their vows brings me to tears. I’ve never witnessed love like this, ever. I wasn’t raised in a household where love was expressed. The only person I ever loved was Velaney, and today, I am officially giving her away—giving her away to a new life.

  Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly happy for her. She deserves it more than anyone. The only thing that’s keeping me from breaking down completely is knowing how great Eric is for her and how happy they make each other.

  When I told Drew I was flying to Texas, he left not-so subtle hints about wanting to join me. Up until now, we’ve mostly eng
aged in sex. Lots and lots of sex. It isn’t just sex, though. There’s an emotional connection, I won’t deny it. Having Drew in my life is both amazing and scary. I can’t—and won’t—give myself to him completely. I can’t. He’s just a temporary fixture in my life, he’ll be moving back to London in May.

  “Dance with me,” he whispers in my ear from behind. I’m sitting at the head table, watching the newlyweds dance. They’ve been dancing all night, and you can physically feel the love pour out of them as they look into each other’s eyes and dance together.

  I let him take my hand as he walks us to the dance floor. He looks absolutely stunning in his black slacks and deep purple button up. He’s matched it with a silver tie and black shoes. The silver really brings out the blue in his eyes, making it irresistibly hard to look away from them.

  “I haven’t slow-danced with someone since high school,” I confess, letting him pull us closer together.

  “You look bloody beautiful tonight.” He leans in, kissing the sensitive flesh just under my ear. I see lust in his eyes. I know he’s falling for me. The only question I have is…why? Why when he knows he’s going to be leaving the country in four months?

  I admit that’s why I’ve been reserved about letting him in any more than I already have. I enjoy the sex. I enjoy the ‘torturous’ cuddling after, and hell, I even enjoy the conversation. But how can I let him in knowing I only get him for a little bit longer?

  “What are you thinking?” He breaks my concentration.

  I shrug nonchalantly. “About you, I suppose.” He raises an eyebrow in speculation. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “Shit,” he mutters, smiling. “Okay…then what about?”

  “It’s personal.”

  “Carissa,” he growls, leaning back so we’re eye to eye. “I’ve been in your bed at least six dozen times. I think we’re past the personal stage.”

  “You really want to know?” I choke out. I try my best to keep my voice down, but the band is loud and we’re surrounded by all the wedding guests. “Never mind. We can talk later.”